Network Family Annoyance Center

I’ve been going for the past two months to Network Spinal Care, a form of chiropractice, from Network Family Wellness Center here in Boulder. I have now decided to stop going, even though I’ve already paid for one more month (we paid a big lump sum at the beginning).

My mom and I found out about it through a “community day,” naturally a marketing and expansion technique. They wouldn’t say that it was an expansion technique. Instead, they said Dr. Dannny (the main chiropractor there, with such a sickeningly cute nomer) did it because he “cares so much about the community.” She left off the important suffix to that quote “‘s money.”

We got two free sessions from that venture, and somehow they sold us into doing it. They were going to have us pay $1000 a piece. We said that that wasn’t exactly affordable, so they whip out a second plan, without a second thought, where we pay $750 a piece. That was a dead giveaway that they could go a lot lower. We finally talked them down to $1000 for the both of us.

When I started care, somehow it wasn’t the same as the “sample” on the community day. I would lie down on the table next to three other people, and I would spend 10 minutes in the room. He’s working on four people at once, so each person gets about 2.5 minutes of his time. We got three sessions a week for three months, which means 36 sessions, which means 90 minutes. Wait—I’m paying $500 for 90 minutes of care total?. That Dr. Danny is making $330 per hour off me!

As if that weren’t bad enough, they have cult-like tendencies within their system. First, they bombard you with two “how it works” talks, exactly the same, which tell you none “how it works,” but instead “that it works.” And today I was required to go to a basic care workshop, to which I didn’t actually go, but in which I’ve heard they do the exact same thing a third time.

Also, they require that if you attend care, your entire family do. They won’t even accept you otherwise. This scares me.

Finaly, their marketing is sickeningly agressive. They constantly hand you newsletters and pamphlets (which I have been making a point of crumpling up and throwing in the trash right in front of them). While you’re in the waiting room, they don’t have magazines, but a TV that is continuously advertizing their care.

This is the kind of service that makes me too uncomfortable to attend even if it will supposedly help me (even though I don’t know how). My mom will continue to the end of her 90 days, but we’ve been practicing declining their every attempt to move us to “intermediate care” for another $1000. And boy will they try.

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