The Saturday before yesterday, I attended a LAN party at my friend Ian’s house. I didn’t end up playing any games though, because when I got there everybody was playing DotA, which I’m not too fond of. Instead I just did some programming. Then, to my surprise, two girls walked in the front door. At a LAN party? How… odd. Turns out they weren’t there for the games (of course); one of them, named Jessie, was Ian’s roommate.
They were chatting among the other desperate gamers, and I overheard that the other, Stephanie, was a violist. So I started up a conversation with her, talking about various classical music subjects and generally being excited that I met someone I could talk to about that, especially a woman. And she was really cute too :-). After playing a Beethoven piece (sonata no. 17, 3rd movement) on the piano for her, she asked if I would play a Frank Bridge piano quintet with her and some friends. We talked for some time, probably an hour and a half, before she gave me her email address and went home.
I emailed her on Sunday, having forgotten the name of the piece, asking her what it was and saying I’d be delighted to play. I also asked her out. Tuesday came with no response. Uncertain whether I had written down her email address correctly, unwilling to resort to tactics such as calling Ian to ask Jessie for her number, unwilling to give up, I fired off another email asking for a response. Probably not a great move in retrospect (but I really didn’t have any other options… which is what this post is about); she wrote back describing a situation which I don’t want to make public, essentially that she couldn’t go out for me, at least for a while. That’s okay, I’ll never turn down a chance to be friends with a good musician, and if there’s a possibility that that could turn into a relationship in the future, that’s good too. She gave the impression that she didn’t know me well enough to be interested or disinterested, which I believe. She also said:
Just to let you know for future endeavors, try not to bug a girl too much, if they want to hang out with you they will do something about it, I promise.
A few weeks back I also looked on craigslist personals, and set up a couple of dates, both of which didn’t end up happening for various stupid reasons. I never talked to the girls again, because I had never met them, maybe I wouldn’t like them, and also I didn’t want to bug them or anything.
I’m completely tired of not talking for the sake of giving people “space”! It’s just an excuse to forget about me. I haven’t emailed Karlin in two months for that reason, and she hasn’t attempted to contact me. I gave the craigslist girls space and we’ve never talked again. Stephanie and I got a conversation going (a fairly awkward one…), and I was the last person to say something, three days ago. If I give her space, she’ll never talk to me again.
Let’s look at the options. (1) give space => never talk again. (2) bug with email => annoy girl but possibly actually continue conversation. If my assumptions are correct, probabilistic analysis gives (1) a 0% chance of me ever seeing her again, and (2) about a 10% chance. Obviously (2) is the superior option.
Hmm, maybe she’s just lying about not knowing me well enough to be interested or disinterested. I know her well enough to be interested. Good conversation + cute + musician. I mean… come on.
Fuck space. If she’s forgotten about me, I’ll make her remember. If she doesn’t want to talk, she can ignore my second email (I won’t send a third) or she can tell me to fuck off (the latter is preferable actually). I’m not going to let this one just fade off anticlimactically into thin air for some stupid space argument. I’ve always hated songs that fade out at the end.